Lucky me, lucky you

It really bothers me when people tell me that they are jealous of something in my life.  It bothers me because I cannot think about what I have today without thinking about the struggle I went through to get it.  I have a difficult time separating the past from the current.  To me, hearing “I’m jealous of…” is the same thing as “you’re lucky because…”. 

I’m lucky that my kids go to bed without crying and don’t come climb in bed with us every night?  That’s because B and I worked really hard on establishing bedtime routines early on and sticking to them no matter what.  We made the decision that this was important to us, and we persevered through some not fun evenings.  We carried boys back to their bed in the middle of the night, when it would have been easier to just let them stay.  I’m not saying our way is the “right” way, not at all.  I wholeheartedly believe that what is great for me is less than great for someone else.  This is not a bash on parenting differently than me/us.  My point is just that when someone says “You’re lucky your kids go to bed without having a fit,” I hear “You’re lucky that your kids are perfect angels and you never had any trouble getting them to behave at bed time.”  Not true.  I feel like the comment discounts the work that lead to this point.

Today I realized that me thinking “it’s because I did the work to get to this point” discounts God’s role over it all.  Today I realized that when I think about all the hard work I’ve done to get to where I am, I cannot take any credit for that without first giving credit to God.  Praise be to God who had his hand of protection on me during some dark, dark nights.  Thank God for my Christian upbringing and my people pleasing attitude that kept me from doing horrible things when I was feeling worthless. Thank God for my loving husband who never gave up on me or our marriage, regardless how hard I pushed him away. It’s only because of Christ’s love for me that I can enjoy grace and forgiveness for sins.  Next time someone tells me they are jealous of me in some way, or that I’m lucky because, it’s with a spirit of humility that I need to respond by first giving glory to a God that loves me more than I deserve and has taken care of me every step of the way.  Only then can I think about choices I’ve made that led me to whatever it is they are admiring in my life.  And again, with a spirit of humility, I can share what I’ve done to get it, because ultimately it’s not what I have done.  It’s not mine to claim, it’s not mine to cling to, it’s not mine to take all the credit for.  

It’s only because I’m lucky enough to have a savior who paid a price I could not pay, loves me more than I can fathom, and works all things for the good of those who love Him.