Therapy

My therapist says I need to blog.  I recognize that I process through talking, and writing works well too.  I'm not sure how I feel about not writing for an audience though.  I'm going to have to pretend someone is reading this or I don't think it will be worthwhile. 

I started therapy a few months ago to work through some addictions.  My drugs of choice had become an eating disorder and cutting.  I've been to therapy for the cutting before but had never gotten to the root cause.  Perhaps the therapist didn't ask the right questions.  Or I didn't offer up the full truth.  Or maybe a little of both.  But we're getting there now.  I'm digging down deep into my painful past and it sure as hell is not fun.  I want to speed up to the recovery, healing, and grace, but right now, I'm in the thrones of it.  Everyday I remember a new story of something that happened to me or something I did, and all over again I'm a hurting teenager with nowhere to turn.  I do have a support system in place, but it's really not making that much difference yet.  Eventually I'm going to get to the point where I recognize that I'm not in the place I was in 20 years ago and I'll realize that the problem was them and not me, and I'll be able to heal and move on.  But I'm not there yet.

So this shall be my safe place to hash it out.  If I ever get any readers, I hope they leave comments.  Feedback is helpful to me at this stage in the game.